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The dangers of the sea ain't got nothin' on this shirt. Even if a shark attacked you while wearing this fine piece of apparel, it'd likely squirm and slosh away out of a rage-filled envy! I mean, we can't prove that or anything, so you'll just have to take our word for it.
All proceeds from the sale of this shirt go to Psychostick to spend money on things they probably shouldn't spend money on. You know how it is, right?